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ten things you should absolutely do today

March 6, 2015 - whoneedslove -

if you follow this little guide to a self-made adventure, your day will be extraordinarily exciting – promise . . .

(1) get up before sunrise and turn your apartment into a down-town sauna, turn up the volume and invent the naked-hot-dance, until the backstreet boys leave you with a headache and a feeling of innocent lust.

(2) stay naked – to safe time – run out of the house and make snow angels on the rooftop or the balcony. if you don’t have that, well, then you gotta go to the park – so you go to the park and

(3) grab cloth from a box people leave for the homeless dudes and get yourself a new, fancy-(vintage)-dress for free, before you

(4) befriend a strangers dog, bark at him, wrestle the others, dominate all! and finally mark your territory by pissing against the next lantern.

(5) you leave the park, sneak onto a street car and sing the tune you learned earlier to the audience, they will be thankful and there’s no way out – take a bow and

(6) enter the grocery store, open a bag of chips, eat as fast as you can and chase it down with Orangina and RUN!

(7) you haven’t found money yet on your journey, so you sell your soul for twenty bucks to the next crackhead and spend it on a Scorpions record to get over the fucking Backstreet Boys.

(8) on your way home you bump into a bunch of drunks and start a snowball fight. they don’t understand the message and beat you up, take your record and your cloth – the police shows up,

(9) who don’t like your nose and your passport photo. you smell like chips and beers and a hairy naked butt is the last the robocops wanted to see before sunset – good night stories in the drunk tank for you, for free . . .

(10) you wake up it’s long after sunrise, you’re craving for toothpaste, your mouth tastes like dried up lake of beer and you realise that this all was just a dream and that the last song you remember played at the bar was ‘these days’ from Take That – these days, these day . . .

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