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‘it started as a fart but they shit themselves instead’ – see ya later united states of america

November 9, 2016 - mirrormirror -

I had one of the best sleeps last night, when I woke and my dick felt slightly hot and itchy . . .I got up to find – through lack of hygiene – my little woody had fallen back to some sort of blistery fungal infection I was suffering two years ago. An instantly following conduction of my body cleanliness was interrupted by my wife – literally – crashing and falling into my (working-)space to tell me, that her (beloved) Instagram was all over Donald Trump – so the US of America has voted.

Silence, fear, anger, thoughts of fetal feces, diarrhea-fallout, rainy clouds of poop

and other funny, reactive thoughts and feelings have been entering my mind since, but I resist. Not having consumed any regular news in years, the result of the election felt like a fan blew an avalanche of shit into my face. It struck me, like the news I involuntarily swallowed when that German fellow flew an airplane, like a suicide bomber into the alps taking 170 or so people with him. Or the fundamentalists, who went on a killing spree in Paris. The biggest shit you can’t avoid, but I will not add damage to my beaten brain, nor will I jump on the short, but exciting train bound White House.

So fuck all the paratroopers and killjoys and let’s dive into hysteria, madness, total chaos and the civil war, which is coming up in the states. What the americans really voted for is anarchy, but they don’t know yet.


I’m going to sit tight and happy through this historical day in my sweatpants on our little island with pizza and pops. before afternoon I’ll buy myself a case of beer, wait for a heart-attack and listen to Scorpions ‘Wind of Change’. I’m going to think about how David Hasselhoff initiated the demolition of the iron curtain / German wall and then write a letter to Arnold Schwarzenegger about how impressive the lengthy demise of the USA is considering some of the political leaders being some absolute cunts of my day (listen to Kevin Bloody Wilson ‘it started as a fart but I shit meself instead).

And if worst comes to worst: we’ve got a friend with a sailing-boat – America, see ya later!

Oh and many thanks go to all the citizens, who haven’t voted – you helped to be a national embarrassment for North/Central/South-America

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