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Alice & OZ – the recipe to relief! trucker pussy

April 20, 2017 - whoneedslove -

this is the reflection between two characters about the blurry fantasy we paint with alcohol and other mind altering substances around our world – around us.

OZ:

thermos + warm ground beef = travel vagina . . .

‘Fernfahrer-Muschi’ is german and can be translated as ‘pussy-for-long-distance-drivers’.

‘long distance’ therefore implies, that the guy behind the wheel has to cover a lot of ground, before coming to a

rest and / or the opportunity to relieve himself.

‘driver’ means, he’s holding a wheel and he has to focus – more or less – consequently on the road and is not supposed

to take his eyes off.

‘pussy’, well, that could be seen as a universal term and if you now take ‘long distance’-‘driver’-and-‘pussy together you’re

about to craft yourself a

long-distance-driver-pussy – and here’s how you do it:

500 gr. / 1/2 pound of ground beef (preferably organic, we don’t want to lace our penis in antibiotics or such)

1 egg (again organic, for same reason as above)

only add salt, pepper, onion, etc. if you’re planning on using it to make burger paddies for the next BBQ-party!

otherwise refrain – especially – from using onion, as the head of the dick is very sensitive, I mean most adult
human beings have chopped up Jalapenos, or similar and then touched themselves.. it’s only exciting to a certain point,

then just painful.

once you’ve got the recipe going take the whole mass and put into a microwave-safe container and let it cook for

2 1/2 min. you only want it to be hot, but not fully cooked! this step is important, as you need the whole thing to be

soft and rather slimy, than dry and crusty – I assume you know why..

last you take it out and transfer it into a (wasched) thermos. pick those heavy stainless steel ones to keep the heat in
as long as possible.

the next step is completely up to you:

take your transport truck out of the yard and go on a long haul and whenever you feel your brain bleeding out towards

your manparts, take your woody out and thrust it into the trucker-pussy – definitely cheaper than the prostitute you were

hoping for, but potentially cleaner.

if you don’t happen to have a big truck you might end up in front of your television set anxiously switching channels searching
for (trucks on ice roads up north)

but that’s OK!

ALICE:

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